I am so sorry for not posting, but here are a few of my journal entries from the last few days of service sites. Please read and enjoy!!
March 23rd
Today
was day 5 at service sites and I can’t believe how much Riv Life has blessed me
already. Yesterday I had the
amazing opportunity to go to an HIV/AIDs support group hosted in the township
over. We pulled up and saw the run
down building we would be meeting in.
Immediately when I saw it I wondered how this support group could feel
any hope in this kind of place. We
walked in to find that the inside looked just like the outside. We went with
Thendi, the social worker, but still I was a bit nervous. I didn’t know what to expect. Soon
women began to arrive, but we all just sat awkwardly as they came in. It was also difficult because none of
them spoke English.
Eventually
five women showed up and the support group began. I found it very interesting
that no men were a part of this group. That is when I saw why HIV spreads so
rapidly, the men don’t acknowledge it at all.
The
women all introduced themselves to us and told us about their family and when
they found out they were HIV positive. Most of them were single women with
multiple children. All of the women looked healthy and I would have never known
they had HIV unless they told me.
It is amazing to see their strength even though they live with a serious
sickness. We then were able to ask
them questions and the situation turned a bit more uncomfortable. I didn’t know what to ask, but as I id
they were very willing to answer everything. Again the one question that I have
heard came from them “Are you afraid of us?” It is sad to know that they are so
out casted in their community. I can only imagine what it could be like to be
feared. The awkwardness continued
until the women began to sing. We
sang with them and then started to play games. We played their version of
musical chairs, where there were more than enough chairs for everyone, which
confused us but we happily played along anyways. We introduced a few games to them as well that they loved!
We also tried to play the human knot game and even though it didn’t work well,
it really showed them that we aren’t afraid to touch, hug or be close to
them. Afterwards the women knitted
and beaded while we sat with them. They made all of us, including Dan and Alex,
earrings. They usually sell the earrings, but because then enjoyed us they just
wanted to give them to us. That
spoke wonders that they gave away their form of income to us. I felt so humbled
by that gesture. We have plans to
go back with nail polish and more crafts for them to use. I cannot wait to go
and continue those relationships with those who don’t normally have them.
Today
was one of the hardest days at Riv Life because it was our final day with the
children at the Creche. It was
unbelievable to see the relationships that have formed between the kids and us
in just five days. We know their
characters and demeanors, we understand their personalities and they in
returned took quite a liking to us.
This last day we decided as a team we should all be together with the
kids, and that’s what we did. We gace all the love we had hoping that they will
remember it once we are gone.
Watching them leave was difficult because even though we know we won’t
see them again, they didn’t understand that we wouldn’t be back. I know that the rest of the service
sites will be amazing, but I will miss those children everyday, especially
Nojabulo. Those kids gave me hope,
which is ironic because I should be there to give them hope in their
situation. Their joy blew me away
everyday and God’s love was so present in these little children. They really
encouraged and challenged me in my own faith. Watching Nojabulo leave was hard and I definitely shed
tears, but I know that my God is watching over that little girl even when I’m
not. I hope to see her again while in the community, but either way that smile
and those songs will stay in with me forever. I just pray that the Creche will
be a safe place where those children can continue to go and learn.
March 26th
Spiritual Warfare
There is a small girl who
has been at the Creche everyday.
She is very young, about three or four. She is beautiful and full of joy, always smiling. It did not take us long to realize the
many open sores that lined her legs, arms and back. These are not small wounds;
but large, open, pussing, bleeding wounds. None of us knew what the wounds were from or why she came
everyday with a new, deep wound.
We brought in the nurses to treat the wounds and as they cared for one
wound we found, another, and another.
By the time the antiseptic was on and the bandages were covering them,
blood was already coming through.
It was so painful to see this small girl have so many wounds covering
her body. After, when talking with the nurses we discovered that the injuries
could be caused by many things.
Bug bites, a skin virus, or HIV/AIDs. When they said that it hit us that a serious disease such as
AIDs can be behind the face of a young, sweet child. We talked to the Gogo about having her parents take her to
the clinic. The Gogo spoke with her mother later that day and we expected the
child to come back the next day with progress. The next day she came back, she
did not have any treatment, but two more deep wounds on her arm. When talking to the Gogo about why this
child has yet to go to the clinic, we found it was because this little girl was
continually being taken to the isangoma (witch doctor) for
medication/treatment. It frustrates me that a little girl, who
may have a sickness as serious as AIDs, will not receive help simply because
their belief is to go to a witch doctor instead of a licensed medical
doctor. The pull between these
people and ancestral worship is unreal. It is something that is ingrained in
the culture and even if a person is a Christian. Most of them have one foot in
Jesus and the other in ancestral worship. It’s crazy that someone can believe
in God, yet still do something so obviously wrong according to those
beliefs.
Seeing
this precious little girl with these serious wounds kills, but to know why
nothing is being done is almost worse.
In scenarios like this is where I see the evil in this world so
clearly. I see it pulling the life
of this small child because of the beliefs of her parents. Spiritual welfare is real. The devil is
constantly working against us, yet we seem to push that matter aside. We never realize how serious it is
because we are often blinded.
Being
here has opened my eyes. Seeing what I have seen has changed my view on life.
Hearing what I’ve heard will play over and over again in my head. As much as I
believe in a God who loves, I also believe in a devil that desires to tear us
all away.
April 1st
This
past week at service sites has shown me a lot. Within the week we painted nails
at the HIV/AIDs support group, visited Nomvula’s home to hear about her many
ministries and ran a holiday camp for the kids at the Drop In Center. We were
not expecting some of the tasks handed to us, but TIA. We also started our
Fresh Creche project in the afternoons. It gave us such an amazing opportunity
to finally bond as a team. We had
also talked about putting a chalkboard in the Creche the week before and to see
it actually going up was an amazing achievement for our team that was
physically present. We as a team
picked Colossians 3:14 “Above all clothe yourselves in love, which bonds us together
in perfect harmony”, to put up above the board.
In
the holiday camp we were really blessed with another week with the kids. One
afternoon as we were playing Duck Duck Goose, a couple people called my name
and told me to turn around. I
turned around to see Nojabulo running towards me, screaming! My excitement was
uncontrollable! I had said goodbye to her the week before in tears and I was
now blessed with another week and a half.
In that week I was able to get to know Nojabulo’s sister, as well as
walk her home multiple times. She
pulled me inside and I got to meet her Gogo. She showed me her house, the
kitchen, bathroom and where she slept. It was hard to see my sweet little
Nojabulo living in a house like that. She shares a twin bed with her siblings,
her father has passed away and the home was dirty and cold. But once again she was so joyful in
showing me around that I couldn’t be sad.
A girl like Nojabulo was placed in that home because of her amazing
happy spirits and all I can do is continue to pray for that tiny one’s future.
God
has shown me this week the power of love and the way it can strengthen relationships
beyond what I can imagine. I’m
loving every minute of serving that community.
April 4th
Today
was our last day of service sites and it was the hardest day so far. I did not wake up this morning
expecting the emotional roller coaster that took place. We came into Riv Life
just 12 days ago not knowing anyone and left today with some of the best
relationships I have ever formed on a service trip. We started our day with Nomvula and her Gogo support group.
We spent the morning sitting under her back shelter watching them craft and
talking. It’s funny how whenever we go the kids always seem to find us. We sang
and danced with those beautiful kids and even the Gogos showed us some of their
dance moves. We also had the
amazing opportunity to present Nomvula with the money we did not spend. We
pulled her inside her house, all 13 of us, and gave her our thank you card with
400 Rand inside. 400 Rand in my eyes is not a lot at all, but when I saw
Nomvula’s face as she saw what we had given her I realized how much it actually
is. Her expression was one I can’t
describe. It was the look of an utter miracle and relief. The tears streamed
down her face as she tried to mumble as many thank yous as she could. I was so
humbled to hear her thank us because I realized how much I want to thank her
for everything she does for her community and everything she had done for us. I
respect her so much and cannot believe how selfless she is. She is a woman who
gives up everything for the sake of others. The most unbelievable part is that she doesn’t have anything
to give away, yet she still does everyday. I stop and ask myself what I would be like in her situation
and I really don’t think I could do what she does. Nomvula is an amazing woman of faith and hope and all my
prayers go to her. She is a strong
woman of God that I admire so much, and a role model I truly strive to be more
like. After giving her the card we
were all able to pray over her and it just showed how much God has blessed us
with the opportunity to know her. In just 12 days that is one relationship God
has strengthened. Nomvula again made
us Zulu bread, which shows her willingness to give even though we have plenty.
The Gogos also made us beaded necklaces and bracelets. That group of people has taught me how
to love unrestrained. We said our goodbyes and headed back for lunch.
Chris
(Director of Riv Life) finally spent sometime with us at lunch. His wife made
us an array of Indian food including chicken curry. I had two plates when
finally the spices caught up with me. It was really sweet of Chris to do that
and show his appreciation even though we didn’t see him much. After lunch we
were able to walk him over to the Creche to show him the chalkboard we painted
on the wall. It was a great group project that we all were very proud of.
Seeing Chris’ reaction was great as well, but I really wish we could be there
to see the Gogo’s reaction come next week.
The
Drop In Center was the last part of our day. We snuck into the yard through a
broken rail in the fencing and the kids came to join us. The ones we had seen earlier at
Nomvula’s had walked 40 minutes just to come and spend time with us. I walked into the center hoping to see
Nojabulo, but also hoping maybe she wouldn’t come to save me a hard goodbye. I
played with a few kids when I heard some people calling my name and then that tiny
voice yelling “Ally! Ally!” I turned to see Anna carrying Nojabulo down the
road. I ran to the fence and like always she screamed and jumped into my
arms. I have never had a child fit
so perfectly on my side. Every
time I hold her I can’t get over how she just molds in my arms. Holding her is
my favorite thing to do. I love
when she turns and looks up at me with that tilted head and sweet smile. I love
hearing her little voice speak to me in Zulu and even though we have no idea
what each other is saying we get along so well. Whether she is squeezing air
out of my cheeks to make loud sounds or repeating what I say in English we just
had such a love for each other. Most of all I love her songs. The songs she is
always singing. I love that she takes one time and will repeat it over and over
again. Today as I was holding her she asked me to sing a song. I sang the
chorus of Jesus Loves Me over and over hoping she would pick up and remember
it. She would try and sing along, but mumble random things so I kept singing.
When I stopped and looked at her she began to sing it word for word! I was so
excited and proud! Soon she switched back to Akeko (her favorite song) and got
everyone clapping a beat for her.
She is the cutest thing and I have loved every second I have her by my
side or in my arms.
We
hung out for a while longer until I saw our buses pull up. My heart dropped
into my stomach and my eyes began to well up immediately. I took the beads the
Gogos had made me off my wrist and slipped them into Nojabulo’s pocket as she
was singing. I wanted to give her something, but didn’t want the other kids to
see it. I gave her some Nik Naks (Cheetos) and slowly walked to pick up my
backpack at the offices. I wouldn’t set her down until I actually had to. I walked to the gate and Alex handed me
my backpack, I dug out my lunch box which I had filled earlier that morning and
began piling as much food as I could into her little 4 year old hands. I walked
back by the APU buses and just held her with a pile of food resting between her
and I. Regean and Liezel began herding us into the vans and the tears just
started to pour out, but I just kept holding on. A few more minutes passed when I realized I had to say
goodbye. It took all I had to pry her little legs away from my body and set her
on the ground. I placed her two feet down, wrapped my arms around her, kissed
her on the cheek and croaked out an “I love you”. She said it back and I
immediately had to drag myself away.
The second my back turned on her I completely lost it. I just remember
sobbing as I walked away. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of my
chest. Liezel walked me to the van and I got in. Sitting in that van and
looking at her standing with arms full of food standing on the side of the road
was so difficult. I hated pulling down the street for the last time knowing I
will not see her the next day after that. I hate not knowing if she will stay
healthy or fed. I hate that I won’t know if her home situation will stay
consistent. I hate that I can’t know that she will go on to school. I just hate
not being able to be there with her like I have been for the past 4 weeks. It
is really hard to have hope in situations like this and I still don’t know how
to handle the things I’m feeling and the things I’ve seen. I’m dreading getting
on that plane and leaving for good the township of Cinderella. The faces of
every child will constantly play through my head and their personalities will
stick with me even more. All I know now is that I have a huge responsibility to
tell their stories, to let people back home know Mikey had no father and an alcoholic
mother, the small girl at the Creche who has AIDs, the orphan child who has no
one, Nojabuo who lives in a two room house with her old Gogo and every child
who just wants to be held, touched and loved. These are all real people I am
talking about, not just stories. I want people to hear their stories, be moved
and actually care. I want to open people’s eyes to problems that are happening
in Cinderella and all over South Africa. I want people to be uncomfortable when
I tell them about what I’ve seen and experienced. For all the love that those
kids and Gogos and HIV/AIDs ladies showed us, the very least I could do is continue
to spread their stories. I anything I have learned so much about the power of
faith. With so much brokenness and heartbreak, there is so much joy and
happiness found in the kids and Nomvula. It is amazing and has really forced me
to look at my faith and myself.
So
right now I am still full of a lot of sadness leaving, but I do know God placed
Nojabulo in my life for a reason. She is the “Princess of Happiness”, and it is
so obvious in that 4 year olds life already. She encourages me to stay positive
and to keep on singing praises because in the end God holds it all in His
hands.
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